All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
grandma shit on top of the toilet
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
