tell your sister to shave her snatch
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
