Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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