Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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