Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
