billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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