the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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