I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
