my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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