you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
