you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
