Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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