I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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