I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
