I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Porn is love you can see.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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