I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
