Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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