your parents love me but you hate me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
