I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
