margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
