4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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