dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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