I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
