Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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