dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
