just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
