Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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