so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
