he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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