why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
There's even glitter on my cock...
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