i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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