please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
