How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
