So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize