It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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