Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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