Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
