u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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