Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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