summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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