im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
