Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
