ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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