I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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