4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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