Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
