So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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