At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm too high and old for this...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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