she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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