My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
