"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
