I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
