Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
