how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize