My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
